They say when you lose someone you start noticing death and the passing of family, friends and other acquaintances more frequently. I never believed it to be true because I thought I was already in tune with death (and recognizing death) in my social circle. But recently, I can’t scroll through my social media feed without reading the news of someone’s recent passing: grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, and more often than not, parents of all ages, always way too young.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my mom. Memories exist all around me, from episodes of Law and Order: SVU to dried mangos I buy while at Home Goods. More specifically, I think about what my life is going to be like without my mom. At only 24, there are too many milestones, birthdays and celebrations to count that she should be here for. That’s something I harbor and face every single day, and feelings I know will never fully heal but instead evolve over time. What hurts more is seeing and hearing friends feel a similar pain. Learning that other men and women in their 20s, a formative time in our young lives, are growing up without a parent or parents for that matter.
Just weeks after my mom passed, a friend told me to meditate to help clear my mind and channel some of my stress, anger and sadness. While I’m no expert at meditating, and honestly should do it more frequently, I found one specific meditation that connected me to my mom and brought me some comfort during my time of grief.