My Goals for 2019

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Is anyone else having a hard time believing that 2019 starts tomorrow? On one hand, I feel like I just celebrated the 2018 New Year, yet on the other, 2017 and the start of 2018 honestly seems like it was ages ago! Usually I am excited about ringing in a new year. It means more opportunities, advancements, adventures and growing older (if you haven’t learned this about me yet, I always want to be older than I am… I wonder at what age these feelings will change!) However, this year I am a bit nervous and scared to see what the new year brings. For the first time, I am not looking forward to the clock striking 12AM on January 1, 2019 because it means a new year without my mom. A full 365 days without her supporting me, pushing me, loving me, believing in me.

Before anyone messages me, I do realize that my fear is irrational. I can’t be afraid of a new year. And I have to know by now that my mom is with me in spirit every day.  She sends me so many signs that I know she’s by my side every step of the way. But a new year means more firsts without her, and that’s my fear. It means more moments I can’t share with her, more envy I feel towards friends and complete strangers who get to build relationships with their moms, and more moments of feeling lost and alone. Each day I am learning the intricacies of grief and how to move forward each day. 

The best way I move forward and push myself is through goals.

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November To Do List

November To Do List

October has come and gone, and I am officially starting November with a sugar/alcohol hangover. As shocking as this may seem, this was my FIRST Halloween being on the receiving end of trick or treaters. Growing up in a rural area, our house was never a destination for trick or treaters, but instead the popular street for the school’s haunted hayride and mischief night. Nick and I were warned that our townhouse would receive anywhere from 200-300 kids and sure enough, we did! 400+ pieces of candy later, we’re left with a few M&M’s, a handful of Reese’s and some lone KitKat bars.

What did I love most about Halloween? Of course I loved the kids in their costumes (especially the little girls in Poodle Skirts!) but I loved the atmosphere of the night. All the neighbors grabbed chairs, fire pits and alcoholic beverages and spent the night  hanging out. It wasn’t just kids night out, but also the adults night out! Here’s to hoping we have more block parties before the weather turns cold and frozen.

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October To-Do List

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I swear, the first day of October sneaks up on me every year. And like clockwork, I quickly grab all my flannel, every down vests I own and buy some fresh apple cider at the farmer’s market waiting for the weather to drop (today was still 80 degrees in Pennsylvania!) There’s a lot going on this month, plus our big trip (more details coming soon), but I’m still determined to get these chores and fun activities done before we leave.

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Why I Heart Walk

Why I Heart Walk

Last weekend, I had the privilege of walking in the 2018 American Heart Association Lehigh Valley Heart Walk along thousands of other individuals. Signs plastered around the track promote the American Heart Association’s campaign, asking participants the simple question – Why do you walk? The answer can be anything, but ultimately, life is why.

As I walked around the track, I looked at the individuals around me thinking, “Why are you walking? What is your story? I have a story on why I am here so you must too. ”This question and concept got me literally thinking:

Why do we walk?

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September To-Do List

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Why do we make lists?

More often than not, lists are for groceries, chores, bills – a boring to do list we dread completing every week. Why can’t we create to do lists that include goals, actions and bucket list items. We shouldn’t have to hold ourselves accountable for having fun, but as responsibilities add up, our “me moments” can be forgotten. Each month, I challenge you to create your own “to-do list” comprised of both necessary chores and fun activities. Plus, I’ve even created a fun downloadable list for you to use this month!

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